Category Archives: The Expat

Jake in the Office

The elevator comes to a stop on the 12th floor and another prosaic day of work begins.  I barely touch elbows to desk when the woman who calls herself the ‘Coordinator’ materializes next to my desk.  From past experience, I … Continue reading

Posted in Life in Korea, Please understanduh my unique culture, The Expat | 6 Comments

The 8th Annual Expat Korea Congress

The true measure of one’s power is not land or money or physical strength.  The true measure of one’s power is control.  As in, how many people one controls.  You say that you are big and rich and powerful and … Continue reading

Posted in The Expat | 25 Comments

Expat Caesar Salad

Greetings Jake fans, tranny fans, ceiling fans and aimless,  jaded, drifting expats.  A new year is upon us, though for me, the transition from 2013 to 2014 went off with all the muffled excitement of a firecracker that failed to … Continue reading

Posted in Itaewon, The Expat | 25 Comments

Doing it All Wrong

On Being Politically Correct Recently, it has come to my attention that I have been doing everything all wrong.  I know this because the wise, educated, intellectually stimulating people around me keep telling me so.  Therefore, it must be true.  … Continue reading

Posted in The Expat | 32 Comments

Who Loves You?

Friday afternoon, Itaewon.  I am wearing my pastel blue ostrich leather loafers with matching blue alligator skin belt.  A pair of custom tailored Egyptian cotton dark blue dress pants with a 3/4 inch cuff.  I’m not wearing socks, because only pussies … Continue reading

Posted in Itaewon, The Expat | 26 Comments

Best Burger in Seoul?

It is Saturday night and I’m driving around Mokdong in the Avante with two of my consigliere.  I have Madonna’s second album playing at full volume.  The first track, “Material Girl”, was written by Peter Brown, who also includes Michael … Continue reading

Posted in Best Burger in Korea, Best Seoul Restaurants, Expats Helping Expats, Life in Korea, Seoul Eats, The Expat | 105 Comments

Regression and Life Reflections in the Department Store

I’m sitting on the bench across from the escalators in the Shinsegae department store on a weekday afternoon.  I’m wearing a dark navy, tailored two button suit with notched lapels.  I’m wearing a dark blue tie with subtle, diagonal white … Continue reading

Posted in Life in Korea, The Expat | 27 Comments

You Haven’t Seen Everything

Just Say No Tuesday afternoon, and I’m inside of Itaewon Starbucks reading the latest issue of Forbes magazine.  Since I paid exactly double the cover price for this magazine, I feel compelled to read it from cover to cover.  This … Continue reading

Posted in Itaewon, The Expat | 61 Comments

Life Plans and Sham Emotions

Hi friends, Jake here with an important, riveting, life-changing announcement:  I’ve recently won the lottery here in Gyeonggi-do.  After taxes, my total take was exactly $28,455,324.00 USD.  You see, I’ve been a regular player of the lottery for years and … Continue reading

Posted in The Expat | 37 Comments

Late Night Drinks with Other Waegs Part 15

As I slowly pull up the driveway of a five star international hotel which I won’t name, I am greeted by a sight that boggles the mind.  I creep up towards the valet curb, slip my sunglasses over my forehead … Continue reading

Posted in Late Night Drinks with other Waegs, The Expat | 42 Comments